Dealing with the Eorlingas
by the great THEM
Summary: A girl gets dropped into Middle Earth and ends up in Rohan. She adjusts to her new life and makes friends with Éowyn. She doesn't get along so well with Éomer though... Tad MarySueish, but different from most. First chapter stinks.
1. From Mississippi to Snowbourne

**A/N**: This was not written just by me (Elven Bunny). It was written by me and my sister, Butterfly Lion  
And of course, we don't claim ownership to anyone except Ainsley. The rest belong to J.R.R. Tolkien  
Wow! Three reviews already! Thank you for sharing your opinions!  
DarkAngelPearl and Hermione Heart: Thank you for your kind words. We are working on the second chapter, and hopefully it should be posted soon.  
Seriously Wrong:I'm sorry if we offended you by making this a "Mary Sue." This is one of our first stories. Hopefully future ones should be more to your liking.  
...  
"Help me, help me!" cried the grass as it was mercilessly cut down by the mower. Ainsley McDiarmid, however, continued on oblivious to its pitiful cries. The mower sputtered to a stop as it ran out of gas. Ainsley sighed and wiped her forehead. 

It was too hot to continue, so grabbing her fishing-pole, she hopped in her car and headed for the river. When she arrived, she ran down to the edge and dived in, regardless that she wasn't in her swimsuit.

She opened her eyes underwater (the water _was_ clear), and a fish darted past her face. She swam after it, but it darted into a small crevasse. Ainsley went up to the surface for air, and glanced around for her fishing-pole.

Not seeing it, she muttered to herself, "That's odd, I must have gone farther downstream then I thought."

She shrugged and walked along the bank. She got a fair distance, but still didn't see her car anywhere. She jumped back in and crossed to the other side, but it wasn't there either. She found a road, and figure that her car must have been farther away. After a while, she realized that she was lost.

"Oh great. I have to turn in my rent today. The landlady's going to _kill_ me."

The sound of galloping hooves attracted her attention. She found herself ringed in by men on horses.

"Ainsley, how can you do that? You can't even notice a bunch of people gathering in a circle around you."

One of them rode forward and adressed her. "What is one so young as you,"

"I'm not so young," Ainsley muttered to herself,

"doing out here," he modestly averted his eyes, "in their...undergarments?" Ainsley looked down at her jeans and T-shirt. "Umm...I was swimming."

Then she noticed that they had odd costumes on. "Are you going to some kind of...costume party?" They gave her odd looks but didn't answer.

"We will take you back to Edoras. Eomer, she'll ride in front of you." The young rider indicated looked disdainfully at her and said something irritable in another language. The captain gave a sharp order in the same language and Eomer sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Don't you want to give me a cloak or something? It must be hard to steer with your eyes modestly averted. We'll probably run into a tree," Ainsley pointed out. One of the men handed her a cloak, which she wrapped around herself. Eomer dismounted and swung her roughly up into the saddle. At a look from the captain, he sighed again and mounted behind her.

Ainsley was jolted forward into the horse's neck as they started, and earned a murderous glare from Eomer when she grabbed the reigns to steady herself. She glared back at him and sat up straight.

"Please move," he gritted out from behind clenched teeth.

"It's kind of hard to move when you're sitting on a **horse**," Ainsley hissed.

"Well, it's kind of hard to **steer** when you have to look over somebody's head!"

"It's not _my_ fault I'm tall!"

After a few minutes of arguing, Eomer reigned his horse to a stop. Ainsley all but fell off. Eomer sighed yet again, and reached down to swing her up, this time behind him. "Put your arms around my waist," he ordered.

"Do I have to?" Ainsley asked, thinking to herself "Sheesh, this guy has problems. How many times can you sigh in ten minutes anyway?"

"Yes, you have to," replied Eomer, looking like he wished she didn't. "If you didn't, you would fall off," he added, looking delighted at the prospect.

Ainsley reached around his waist, taking care not to touch him. She linked her pinkies in front.

Eomer rolled his eyes and gave a command. The horse began to gallop. ...  
Flame if you must. Please review! If you could, look up my other story, Mushrooms and Fangirls.  
More is on the way!


	2. Scarborough Fair

**A/N: **Okay, here's the second chapter. ;) She doesn't catch on very quickly...and tends to get a lot of odd looks. 

_Chapter 2_

* * *

Ainsley's pinkies were beginning to get tired.She shifted positions uncomfortably, causing Eomer to wince.

"Why couldn't you just hold around my waist like any sensible person would do?" he asked irritably.

"I do not make it a habit to embrace random males," she replied in a lofty tone. "Besides, I have strong pinkies."

They rode on in silence for a few minutes.

"By the way," Ainsley said, "Do you think when we get there you'd be allowed to get out of your "Scarborough Fair" character long enough to let me use the phone? I'm kind of lost."

"What do you mean by Scarborough Fair?" asked Eomer, confused.

"Or whatever medeival role-play thing you're doing. I mean, seriously. 'Undergarments?' You people don't have to be that realistic."

"I really don't know what you're talking about," Eomer complained. "Could you just start at the beginning?"

"I don't know the beginning," Ainsley sighed. Then her attention was caught by the city ahead. "Whoa! Nifty mead hall, or whatever. Do you rent that, or what?"

"Um...sir? Did you not hear me?"

"Oh, great. I hate being ignored," she muttered.

The riders reigned in their horses and dismounted. Eomer held his hand up to help Ainsley dismount, but she ignored him and just tumbled off. He looked rather relieved and hurried off with his horse.

She wrapped her cloak tighter and stared around herself.

She noticed the captain and walked over to him, saying, "Excuse me, sir, but where am I supposed to go now? I really ought to be getting home."

"We're not sending you home all wet and in your undergarments, Miss. Come with me, I'll find you a nice inn."

Ainsley was hard put to keep up with the captain's long strides. "Why couldnt you just let me telephone? Or I suppose you didn't bother to install one in your little Medeival Make-Believe?"

"What is this "telephone" you speak of?" asked the captain.

"Oh, never mind," she growled. "This is getting old real quick," she muttered to herself.

They entered a small, cozy inn and the captain pulled a serving girl aside. "Would you mind finding clothes for this young damsel? I fear she'll catch the cold in wet clothes."

The girl courtesied to the captain, then took Ainsley's arm and pulled her aside into a small room. She began searching through a trunk, talking aside in a chatty way.

"So, where are you from?"

"Oh, around here. I'm a little lost, actually." Ainsley replied.

The girl gave her a curious look. "You say you're from around here? But, begging your pardon, you don't look like one of us. You have the hair, to be sure, but I've never seen one with brown eyes like yours. What's your name?"

"Ainsley. Ainsley McDiarmid."

"Pleased to meet you. You can call me Bretta. Now, here's a dress about your size." The girl pulled from the trunk a plain, brown, sackcloth dress.

"I don't tend to wear dresses much." commented Ainsley.

Bretta looked at her incredulously. "What do you wear then, Ainsley? Surely you don't just go around in that?" she pointed at the t-shirt and jeans.

"Surely I do," snapped Ainsley.

"No offense, but you come from a strange clan," said Bretta wide-eyed.

"I AM NOT STRANGE! EVEYBODY WEARS CLOTHES LIKE THIS! COULDN'T YOU JUST STOP WITH YOUR STUPID SCARBOROUGH FAIR MASQUERADE?" she screamed.

Bretta dropped the brown dress on the bed and ran out of the room, presumably, reflected Ainsley, to spread the word that there was a crazy person around.

"Serves them right. I'm not going to play along with their stupid game," Ainsley told herself. She peeled off her wet clothes and put on the brown dress. It was scratchy but warm. She sat on the bed and crossed her arms.

After a while Bretta timidly poked her head around the doorframe. "Oh, good. You're done. Are you all right?"

"I really need to pay my rent," Ainsley answered mildly. "My landlady would rip me apart if I didn't."

"Your rent?" asked Bretta. "You pay for a cot near here?"

"Yes," sighed Ainsley, not bothering to point out that an apartment and a cottage are rather different.

"And it is owned by a _woman_?"

Ainsley nodded, wondering if these people always echoed each other so much.

She wiggled a little. The dress was rather itchy.

"Are you all right?" asked Bretta concernedly.

Ainsley nodded. "The dress is a little scratchy. I don't think I've ever worn anything of this material before."

As an afterthought she added, "So how many months out of a year do you participate in this?"

"Participate in what?" the other girl said distractedly.

Ainsley waved her hand about vaguely. "This...this masquerade, or whatever. This lifestyle."

Bretta gave her an odd look. "I've been living like this all my life. This isn't a masquerade, Ainsley. I don't know why you think that. Rohan's been like this for centuries."

Ainsley's face turned to a mask of horror as it finally sunk in.

"I...am...surrounded...by...LUNATICS!" she shrieked.

**

* * *

A/N #2: By the way, the review I posted on my own story was an accident.**


	3. It FINALLY hits

**A/N:** Sooo sorry we took such a long time to update. I went on a week long trip.

So you think it's a Mary Sue. Do I care? No. Anyway, thanks for reviewing, even if you don't like it. But don't you think 126 "vile Mary Sue!"s is a little excessive? 50 probably would've done the job.

Thank you Hermione Heart, Dark Angel Pearl and FanofFaramir. :D

_Chapter 3_

Bretta tiptoed quietly out of the room as Ainsley rocketed around the room, throwing everything she could find at the wall. "I CANNOT BE STUCK HERE! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE I'M STUCK WITH A BUNCH OF ROLE PLAY FREAKS! IT'S NOT FAIR! MY LANDLADY...my landlady can't kill me!" She stopped wailing for a moment. Then she started again. "BUT THAT MEANS I WON'T SEE MY _FAMILY_ AGAIN! I WON'T BE ABLE TO LIVE IN MY APART...wait- I can get a puppy! AAAAAAH! THIS IS SO _STUPID_!"

From out side it sounded to Bretta that Ainsley was banging her head against the wall. A crash announced that the lamp had met its end. She winced.

Ainsley stopped destroying everything and threw herself onto the bed, sobbing.

...

"What did you _say_?" asked Eowyn in amazement. The sobbing was growing quieter. Bretta shrugged helplessly. "She was talking about fairs and masquerades. I did what I could."

"Of course you did," said Eowyn to the younger girl. "You can go home, I'll take care of her." Bretta courtesied and thanked her. She nodded distractedly and glanced toward the room. The sobbing had stopped. She deemed it safe to approach and quietly opened the door.

Ainsley heard her but didn't remove her face from the pillow. "Have _you_ ever been cut off from everything you've ever known?" she said in a muffled tone.

"Both my parents died when I was eight," said Eowyn softly. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but you are acting very strange-"

Her words were cut off as Ainsley balled up her wet clothes and threw them at her. Eowyn barely ducked in time.

Ainsley was horrified. Then she burst out laughing. After a moment, Eowyn did too.

...

Mrs. McDiarmid slammed down the phone. "Come _on_ Ainsley, pick up the stupid phone!" Turning to her husband, she sighed. "I can't get a hold of her. She won't pick up her cellphone, her home phone, her friends haven't seen her, and her landlady hasn't seen her!"

"Do you think it's time to call the police?" asked Mr. McDiarmid quietly. She sighed, and ran a hand through her salt and pepper hair. "Maybe. Let's give her another day."

...

"Are you hungry?" asked Eowyn. Ainsley grinned sheepishly. "Did you hear my stomach gurgle or what?"

"Oh no, not at all, it's only been gurgling all the time we were talking," laughed Eowyn. She got off the bed, and guided Ainsley to the kitchen. Eomer and some of his friends were talking at the table. When he saw Ainsley he scowled darkly. She pointedly ignored him.

"Eomer, I told you _not_ to drink beer on this tablecloth," scolded Eowyn. She yanked it out from under the offending cups and threw it in a bucket. Eomer rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. Eowyn pulled out a loaf of bread and a knife, and began to slice it. Ainsley took to slices and bit into them. They were a bit stale, but sweet. 

After they had finished, Eowyn took Ainsley site-seeing. It all seemed vaguely familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. As Eowyn took her into the Golden Hall, something hit her. 

"It's not possible... how could that happen? I only watched it for the action... I read the books eight years ago... I'm not totally obsessed..." she whispered. She looked around again, screamed at the top of her lungs, and fainted. 

Eowyn knelt and took her pulse. She was fine, but what on earth had happened? She ran off to find her uncle. 

... 

Ainsley woke up in an odd room, filled with fancy silver engravings of horses. She sat up in the silk-covered bed, and looked around. Eowyn was sitting on a hassock, embroidering something. "Are you feeling alright now?" she asked. Ainsley nodded somewhat numbly. "You know what? I've figured out why everthing is so... old. Why you seem familiar. Why I feel that something is... not good somewhere not too far away." Eowyn cocked her head to one side. "Old? Old-fashioned, you mean? We are not by any means behind our times. But as for what you say about something not good, that's true." 

"Well you know why? BECAUSE I'VE SEEN THIS ALL IN A FREAKIN' MOVIE!" Ainsley shrieked. "None of you are supposed to exist! Middle Earth is a fantasy world! I'm fantasy now! My family, friends, life, was all on that other world! Instead of Middle Earth, now _it's_ the fantasy world!" 


	4. Two sheep in a flock

**A/N**: Aww... thank you, DarkAngelPearl, Hermione Heart, FanofFaramir, Legolas fan, Zita0, Madrone,and Crapaholics. We feel so loved. :) Glad y'all like it.

We're reposting this chapter because before it got rid of the ...s that were marking the switches to a different character. Otherwise it's the same.

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Lord of the Rings, just like everyone else. We never have, never will, and never claimed to.

_Chapter Four_

"Even if it is a fantasy world, it's _your_ world now. You need to learn to adapt to it," said Eowyn calmly as Ainsley began taking deep breaths.

"I guess... hey! Can you teach me how to use a sword?" asked Ainsley. Eowyn frowned. "I'm not the best teacher, but I'll try."

Ainsley clapped her hands like a little girl. "Yay!"

Eowyn sighed and shook her head. "I'm not sure you're ready for it..." However, she did lead Ainsley out to the fields.

"Why are we out here?" asked Ainsley. Eowyn smiled innocently. "I didn't want any of the boys to see our pitiful attempts at fighting. Or rather, if you don't mind my saying, your pitiful attempts."

"I don't mind," said Ainsley cheerfully.

"Here. Take this," said Eowyn, and handed her a crude sword carved from wood. "No, don't hold it like that. When you swing you'll sprain your wrist."

Ainsley readjusted her hand grip. Eowyn nodded. "That good. It'll give you freedom of swing, but you also can control it." Eowyn pick up another wooden sword. "Now we get to spar. I don't really know how to teach you, so I figure we'll just fight and I'll tip you every now and then."

Ainsley gulped. That didn't sound very good...

Eowyn jumped at her and rapped her head sharply. "Pay attention! That's one of the biggest lessons... stay attent, react quickly, and use strategy!"

"What...type of..strategy?" asked Ainsley, gasping as she blocked a blow to the shoulder with her... hand.

"For instance, trying to guess just what someone will... DO!" said Eowyn as she dropped to the ground and banged her sword against Ainsley's shins. Ainsley performed a small dance as she flailed at Eowyn, who had quickly rolled over and jumped to her feet.

"Hit hard!" urged Eowyn.

"I'm trying!" said Ainsley.

xxxxxxxx

"The police found Ainsley's fishing rod... it was..." Mrs. McDiarmid's eyes teared up. "It was broken."

"What do they think?" asked Mr. DcDiarmid quietly.

"They say she probably was fishing in a deeper part, and fell in... hit her head on a rock... and got carried downstream to where the- the rapids were."

xxxxxxxxx

"I give up. This is hopeless," said Eowyn, dropping her sword. Ainsley sank to the ground, immensly relieved that they had stopped. Eowyn had creamed her.

"In a few minutes, you can start working up your agility by running an obstacle course or something."

Ainsley breathed a sigh of relief. "Now _that_ is something I _can_ do."

Eowyn looked at her somewhat curiously. "You seem to have accepted the truth pretty quickly. Much quicker than before."

Ainsley shrugged. "Actually, I think I'm still in denial."

"Well, that's better then screaming." Eowyn looked around. Fields... fields... tree... horse... sheep.  
Sheep?

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Eomer sighed and took a gulp of his ale. He hoped Eowyn had taken that girl... whatever her name was, he didn't care, and dumped her off a cliff or something. It wasn't that he actually wanted her dead, he merely wished her bodily harm.

"So, where'd you pick up that girl?" said one of his many friends, slapping him on the back.

Eomer gritted his teeth. "I did not 'pick her up'. She was standing in the road, and the captain made her ride with me."

"Whoa, am I seein' things er what?" slurred another friend from by the window. Eomer sighed and glanced out. His jaw dropped. "What on earth is that girl doing?"

"She's jumping over the sheep. Must be some kinda obstacle course."

"Not just jumping over, crawling _under_ too..." Just then Eomer caught a glimpse of another girl. Eowyn.

Of course. Who else but Eowyn would think of making somebody jump over sheep?

Eomer looked down at his mug of ale. Then he looked back out the window at the girl and the sheep.

"I think I've had one too many," he said, pouring the ale from his mug into his friend's.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ainsley dived under a large ram, rolled under a ewe, leapt over several lambs, and continued across the field in this fashion.

"What on earth is 'Track meet'?" murmured Eowyn. "Thirty... thirty one... thirty two..." (She was using her pulse to time how fast Ainsley ran.)

Ainsley smacked the fence, wheeled around dizzily and started back. She jumped over four lambs side-by-side in a row, stumbled under the ram, and began leaping over ewes.

"Seventy three... seventy four... seventy five... seventy six!" Eowyn laughed and thumped Ainsley on the back. "Not bad, not bad at all!"

"I.. haven't done Track since tenth grade," gasped Ainsley. Eowyn handed her a waterskin. "What is 'Track'?"

"Umm... it's like... racing and endurance tests, basically. You know, running. I ran track for three years, but I haven't done any hard running since I was fifteen. That was three years ago."

Ainsley sat down on the edge of the wooden fence and took a gulp of water.

"Well, Ainsley, I'm inspired," laughed Eowyn. "I think I might join you. Just for the exercise."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Eomer checked his pulse. It wasn't beating terribly fast. He held his hand in front of his eyes. Not blurry.

"I don't _feel_ drunk" he commented, picking up another mug-this time of water- and taking a sip.

His friends laughed and one of them held up a hand. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Eomer rolled his eyes. "Three. Now, I think I'll go."

He walked out the door, taking his mug of water with him. He took another sip, then stood staring. The mug dropped from his lifeless fingers.

"Oh, no!" he groaned. "I'm seeing two of them now!"


	5. MY stew!

**A/N**: Sorry we've taken so long to update our stories! Busy busy busy... :P

**Disclaimer**  
**Ainsley**: Umm... Hi?  
**Eowyn**: -sigh- Elven Bunny and Butterfly Lion do not own me, Lord of the Rings, the Silmarillion, Morgoth's Ring, Lost Tales 1 & 2, etc.  
**Ainsley**: Instead they own... ME!

_Chapter Five_

"Time for more sword practice," sighed Eowyn. "Here's a block."

"Like this?" asked Ainsley. Eowyn tilted the sword up and to the right. "Right... there. Now you get to practice that! Won't that be fun!"

"Terribly," Ainsley muttered.

"Here's a slash... a stroke, a lunge, and finally, here's a swipe. Now you get to build up your arms by holding out your sword, lifting it a little each day," Eowyn instructed. Ainsley sighed. "Whoo."

* * *

"I'm hungry," Ainsley announced. "What time do you eat?"

Eowyn shrugged. "About now. Let's go."

The two girls headed toward a large tavern with a sign that said 'The Laughing Grasshopper' in large black letters.

"What a lovely name," commented Ainsley.

"Isn't it?" replied Eowyn.

"Do you have any money?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Good."

"You don't, I take it?"

"All the money I have is at home, and I don't know where home is. Anyway, it wouldn't be accepted here. It's paper."

Eowyn looked at Ainsley quizzically. "What's the use of paper money?"

Ainsley shrugged. "I'll explain later. It's rather complicated."

Eowyn pushed open the door. "Be careful of the step, it's a little steep-"

FWUMP.

(That's the sound Ainsley made when she tripped.)

Eowyn sighed and pulled her upright. "Good job, Ainsley."

Ainsley rubbed her forehead. "Ouch. That hurt."

Eowyn grinned and pulled her to a table in the corner. "You really need to take some lessons for that. Something like a lady's course."

Ainsley sighed wistfully. "I tried once. The lady ran away screaming after five minutes."

Eowyn stared at her. Her eyebrow twitched.

"Well, strictly speaking that isn't true. What happened is that I destroyed a treasured heirloom of her family- a dictionary from the 1800s," Ainsley corrected. "You probably have had to walk with a big book on your head- Hey, you don't have 1800s here. Hmm.  
"Anyway, after she got over that, it was tea time. Well, you see, she had this little dog. It was cute. I fed it some of my sandwich, and then when it was time to drink our tea, it jumped up on the table and destroyed three china cups.  
"And then, after that, we had to learn how to cook. Me + cooking disaster. The dog escaped the room that she had put it in and knocked over the flour. I accidently dropped the milk, and it mixed. The other girls started panicking, and, well..."

"I get the idea," Eowyn intercepted.

Ainsley flashed a smile at her. "Good."

"So, whatcha want?"

"Huh?" asked Ainsley. She turned around.

Evidentally one of the serving ... servants had come to ask what they wanted. That would make sense, as he (for it was a boy of about nine) had asked 'So, whatcha want?'.

"Oh! Lady Eowyn! I didn't see you!" said the boy, startled. He bowed.

"Hello, Anlaf," greeted Eowyn. "I see you've found yourself a job."

"It pays pretty well," said Anlaf, looking at Eowyn with a sort of adoring puppy look.

Ainsley hid a grin behind her hand.

"What do you want to eat, Ainsley?" Eowyn asked.

"Oh, I don't care, so long as it's food," Ainsley replied. She had no idea what people ate in this place-time-whatever.

Eowyn said something to Anlaf, who bowed again and dashed off towards the kitchens.

"Cute little boy," Ainsley commented.

"Yes," said Eowyn, "But don't let him hear you say that. Little boys hate being called cute. It drove my brother crazy when we were young."

"Maybe he's still crazy," Ainsley mused.

"I wouldn't doubt it," Eowyn answered, grinning.

Anlaf came trotting back with the food, and after yet another bow and an adoring glance at Eowyn, ran off to another table.

Eowyn picked up a wooden bowl filled with stew and handed it to Ainsley. "Here, let this take the edge off your hunger."

Ainsley sampled it gingerly, and her face lit up. "It's good! What is it?"

"Oh, this and that; vegetables, some mutton, I don't know," Eowyn made a dismissive gesture.

A group of laughing people came in the door, and Ainsley froze as she heard a familiar voice. "It's him! Hide me!"

Eowyn looked at her quizzically. "What are you talking about?"

"Eomer! Your brother! He hates me!"

"He doesn't hate you," laughed Eowyn. Ainsley glared at her. "Well then, he wishes me great bodily harm."

Ainsley's eyes widened as the said Eorlinga came in their direction, and she ducked under the table.

"Where is that sheep-jumping wench?" she heard him snap.

"Eomer! Your language!" Eowyn was horrified. "And besides, _I_ was sheep-jumping too."

Under the table, Ainsley was struggling with herself. She wanted to pinch his leg-HARD.

"Well, where is she?" Eomer persisted.

"She's...not here right now," Eowyn replied. Ainsley sighed in relief. She decided not to pinch him after all.

Eomer also sighed in relief. "Well, why is there another bowl here?"

His sister grinned innocently at him. "Oh, I was expecting you."

Eomer pulled up a chair and started eating.

"Hey, not cool," whimpered Ainsley mentally. "It's MY stew!"

"So, Eomer," she heard Eowyn say, "Why is it you hate Ainsley so much anyway?"

"Oh, so that's her name," muttered Eomer. "Creepy little wench."

"_Eomer_."

"Sorry. But she _grates_ on me!"

"You've known her, what, an hour?"

"I don't like her. She's evil. I bet she was born in Mordor."

"Eomer, don't be ridiculous. She's never been outside of Rohan-that is, in Middle-Earth."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"She's not from Middle-Earth," Eowyn explained.

Eomer's eyes lit up. "Oh, that explains it! Maybe she's not human at all! Maybe she's a demon!"

Ainsley, meanwhile, was still sitting under the table, chanting "My stew! My stew! My stew!"

"Eomer!" the Lady of Rohan scolded. "She is quite human, I assure you! I don't know what's the matter with you!"

"What's the matter with _me_? There's nothing the matter with me! But I know absolutely and for sure there is something the matter with that "Ainsley" character!"

"Ooh, that does it," thought Ainsley. "He's going to pay. My stew..."

Suddenly, she sprung up and out from under the table.

"Something the matter with me? _Something the matter with me! _I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME! YOU'RE EATING MY STEW!" she screamed, grabbing the bowl and running with it.

Unfortunately, it was a little more full than she had thought, and it spilled on the floor as she ran, Eomer pursuing her.

Ainsley dashed out of the door and into a nearby stable. She clutched the bowl of stew to her chest, sloshing it all over herself.

Eomer slipped along behind her, barely able to retain his footing on the slick stew that was being dribbled along the ground.

"I didn't take track for nothing," Ainsley told herself as she dodged under the flailing hooves of a rearing horse.

* * *

Eowyn sipped her stew contemplatively, listening to the banter of Eomer's friends.

"Hey, Aldwulf, do you think he'll catch her?"

"I'lll bet you a mug of ale she eludes him, Beornhelm."

"You're on!"

Eowyn smiled as a familiar person approached her.

"Anyone sitting here?"

"Not at the moment, Theodred."

Theodred wiped some spilled stew off the chair and sat down. "So, cousin, what's going on?"

Eowyn gestured breezily. "Oh, Eomer's chasing a friend of mine."

* * *

Ainsley shrieked as she came up against the stable wall. She whirled around to see Eomer approaching her swiftly.

He grabbed her arm and _time held still_.


	6. the Evil Brown Dress

**A/N:** Heheheh... Well, Madrone, it might be, deep underneath, but neither of them seem to realize it. Zita01, tell me, what language are your stories in? Is it german or dutch? BEAN, I hope to see you soon. Black as the Shadows, can I call you BATS? Saga123, I'm glad you like it! Nocturnal007, your updates are sitting on the computer, waiting. DAP, sorry to have dropped a cliffie on you! Well, not really... Mary, glad you like it. I don't know-we've jumped over sheep before. If it's really big there's always leap-frog-jumping! And the stew-it was actually hers. But maybe she overreacted just a _little_ bit.

**Ooh, a disclaimer.  
Eomer**: Elven Bunny and Butterfly Lion do not own Middle-Earth or the Rohirrim. Well, they own a few of my buddies, but oh well. Also, they own the demon-girl. And they can keep her. Ugh.  
**Ainsley**: Gee, thanks a lot.  
**Eomer**: Don't mention it.

_Chapter 6_

There were a few seconds of silence.

Eomer cleared his throat. "So, now what?"

Ainsley shrugged.

Neither of them moved.

* * *

Eowyn carefully lifted her spoon to her mouth.

Theodred tolerated her liesurely eating for about ten seconds, then asked, "Shall we see if he caught her? My, that sounds... odd."

Eowyn thought for a few seconds. "I'd like to finish my stew."

Theodred sighed. "Please?"

Eowyn started to shake her head, but then caught sight of someone just entering the room. She stiffened. "Come to think of it, I'm not hungry. Let's go."

Theodred gave her an odd look, and she nodded in the direction of the door.

"Ugh...Grima," Theodred muttered. He dropped two coins on the table and led Eowyn out.

* * *

Ainsley hadn't moved since Eomer grabbed her arm. Come to think of it, neither had Eomer.

Ainsley's leg was beginning to hurt. She had been running when he grabbed her, and since she hadn't moved, she still had one arm out as if she was swimming, and one leg pointing out behind her.

Eomer's friends had followed them in, and were exchanging money and insults.

"Told you he'd catch her," Beornhelm bragged.

"She led him a merry chase though," said Aldwulf with a shrug. He handed Beornhelm the mug of ale.

Theodred and Eowyn poked their heads into the stable. They had followed the trail of stew.

"Eomer, do you not think you should let go of her now?" inquired Theodred.

Eomer let go of Ainsley's arm as if she was a hot poker.

Ainsley fell over.

Theodred courteously helped her up.

"Hello, I'm Eomer and Eowyn's cousin Theodred," he introduced himself. "And you are...?"

"Ainsley McDiarmid," she said, holding out a hand for him to shake. He looked at it quizzically.

"Oh...right." She attempted a courtsey. It didn't really work.

Eomer skirted the puddle of stew and joined his friends, who laughed and slapped him on the back. "Good show, Eomer, you caught her!" chorused several of them.

"And I got a free mug of ale!" Beornhelm crowed.

Ainsley picked up her bowl, which had miraculously landed upright, and drank the last dregs of stew still left. "Let's go."

As they passed Eomer and his friends, Ainsley patted Aldwulf on the back. "So sorry to disappoint you. I would have gotten away if I hadn't run into the wall."

* * *

"Eowyn, can I borrow some breeches?" Ainsley asked as they left the stables. Theodred stayed behind to talk to Eomer.

"Breeches!" exclaimed Eowyn. "People would think it was indecent!"

"But your insane brother made me rip my dress! And skirts are so hard to run in!" whined Ainsley. "Sorry. I sound whiney."

"It is hard, isn't it?"

Ainsley peered at her friend. Eowyn was looking straight ahead, wearing a slight smirk. "You've worn breeches, haven't you?"

"Yes," admitted Eowyn. "But they were very different from men's breeches. I had them specially tailored."

"How so?"

"They were made extra loose so they almost looked like a skirt. I'll get some made for you."

"Thanks," Ainsley grinned. Then she frowned. "But how will they be made?"

"Uncle gives me lots of money. I'll pay for them," said Eowyn breezily.

"I'll need a job, though," said Ainsley thoughtfully. "I can't make you support me forever."  
'However much I may want to,' her mind added.

"Oh, don't worry. It's not too expensive. But let's get you a different dress, shall we?"

Ainsley sighed with relief as they entered the main building, where Eowyn's room was situated. She attempted to memorize which hallways led to Eowyn's room, but gave up after a bit. She'd have to ask for a map.

Eowyn took out a key and unlocked a door.

"Can you give me a map, sometime?" asked Ainsley.

Eowyn gave her an odd look.

(**A/N**: That phrase pops up a lot in our stories, doesn't it?)

"A... map?" she asked hesitantly as she unlocked a trunk. "Of what?"

"This... building thingy." Ainsley waved her hand.

"I suppose I can draw one for you," Eowyn shrugged. She pulled out a light blue dress. "This has a fairly free skirt. It's also fairly light, and should be comfortable. I'll be waiting in the sheep field."

Eowyn left before Ainsley could thank her.

Ainsley kicked the door shut and pulled off the scratchy brown dress. She tugged the soft blue dress over her head.

It was too small.

"No!" she moaned. She glanced at the Evil. Brown. Dress.

She glanced back at the trunk. "I hope Eowyn won't mind. I don't think she would."

Ainsley knelt by the trunk and began to go through the dresses.

"Too fancy, I'll mess it up. Too small. Too elegant. Too short. Too thin. Too small. Too fancy. Too is a really weird word once you've said it about... seven times."

She whimpered. What a bad situation she was in! The brown dress was ripped, so she couldn't put it back on.

What to do? What to do...


	7. Told you I needed a map

**A/N:**  
**The loverly disclaimer  
Eowyn**: Elven Bunny and Butterfly Lion don't own us. Amazing. _-eats stew-_  
**Theodred**: But they _are_ really nice people!  
**Eowyn**: Theodred, _you're_ the really nice person.  
**Theodred**: Aw, you think so? Thanks, cousin.  
**Eowyn**: Sure.

_Chapter seven_

The gentle tap of bare feet sounded in the seemingly empty halls of Meduselde.

A disconsolate figure wandered in circles, clad only in a slip and other undergarments of a similar nature.

"I should've made Eowyn draw me a map _before_ she left," Ainsley muttered.

She caught a fleeting glimpse of a human form disappearing, and she followed it, only to get further lost as she became entangled in a wall-hanging and stumbled around for a while before freeing herself.

"This is not cool," she sniffled, wishing desperately that she was back home.

Ainsley ran foreward, seeing a corner. Well, a corner meant a hall, didn't it?

She turned the corner, only to find a nook with a wall hanging in it. She stamped her foot against the stone floor.

"Oww," she whimpered.

She sighed and turned another corner. This led into a hallway, where she hesitantly cracked open a door, hoping she wouldn't run into a male being.

Luckily, or un-luckily, as the case may be, it led to an empty room. She sighed and tried another door.

No such luck.

* * *

Eowyn sighed. Ainsley shouldn't have taken that long to put on a simple dress!

She fiddled absently with the golden chain around her slender wrist- a gift from Theodred- and then stared at it.

"I'll bet the dress was too small," she muttered darkly.

She shook her head and watched a black lamb frisk about in the hot sun. The rest of the sheep were lazing about, sleeping and sitting. The perfect day to do more running.

She tapped her fingers against the fence.

What _was_ Ainsley doing?

* * *

Ainsley had gotten out of the main room and was now wandering in a hallway. She'd gone through three so far.

The sound of... things moving reached her ears.

"Yesss!" she muttered. She opened a door and peered into the room beyond.

It was the kitchen. A maid was bustling about, stirring pots and testing things.

Ainsley stepped into the room. "Help me!"

The maid gasped. "Oh, you poor thing!"

She draped a tablecloth over Ainsley's shoulders.

"What happened to you?" she asked kindly, pulling Ainsley along with her.

"It was _my_ stew," Ainsley muttered rebelliously.

The maid pulled her into a room- Ainsley surmised that it was her room- and opened up a trunk, much like Eowyn's, except less ornate.

"Try this on," she ordered, handing Ainsley a grey dress. Ainsley obediantly slipped it on.

To her delight, it fit.

To her displeasure, the shade of grey made her look rather sickly.

"There you go, along with you now! I must be back to my kitchen!" smiled the maid.

Ainsley thanked her and ran out of the hall.

"I forgot to ask her for directions!" she moaned, banging her head against a wall.

She turned around and dashed back to the room, but the maid- Ainsley hadn't learned her name- had left.

Ainsley glumly returned to her wanderings.

* * *

Eowyn had tired of waiting and grumbling to herself, and set out to find Ainsley.

She had gotten to the main hall of Meduselde, when she stopped. She had no clue where Ainsley would be.

"Let's see, if I were Ainsley, where would I go? I guess I'll start at my room, and work my way from there," she muttered.

She ran back into her room, then looked out from the door. Seeing a piece of meat which looked like it could have been from the stew, she headed down a corridor.

She knew she was on the right track when she saw the wall-hanging lying crumpled on the floor. She restored it to its proper place and resumed her course.

Seeing the kitchen maid, she inquired after Ainsley. The maid pointed her in the direction Ainsley had gone, and she set off again.

Eowyn systematically searched the hallways, and eventually ran into Ainsley.

"_There_ you are!" she exclaimed as she pulled Ainsley up. "Let's get out of here."

"Told you I needed a map," Ainsley muttered.

Eowyn hid a grin and led her outside. "Time to race over sheep again."

Ainsley jumped the fence and paused at the edge.

"Ready- GO!" Eowyn shouted, holding her wrist and counting by her pulse.

Ainsley jumped over a ewe, wriggled under a ram, wound around the black lamb and repeated the performance until she had reached the bottom of the field. She started on her way back up.

"What're you doing?" inquired a voice near Eowyn's ear. She jumped.

"Theodred! You startled me!"

"So sorry. But what is Ainsley doing jumping over sheep?"

"We're timing ourselves to see how fast we can run an obstacle course," Eowyn explained. "The sheep were the only things around."

Theodred grinned as Ainsley ran up, panting and short of breath. "Whooh! I'm getting tired!."

"Oh, hi, Theodred," she said, noticing him. "Want to join us?"

The prince of Rohan bowed. "Why not?"

"Can I join?" asked a small voice near Ainsley's elbow. She and Eowyn both started and whirled towards it.

It was Anlaf. He gazed imploringly up at Eowyn. "Please, Lady Eowyn?"

"Of course," Eowyn smiled.

"Oh, excuse me, your highness, I didn't see you," Anlaf stuttered, bowing to Theodred.

"Quite all right," Theodred said cheerfully.

"_Your HIGHNESS?_" Ainsley exclaimed. "WHAT!"

"Oh, did I forget to mention it? King Theoden is my father," Theodred explained.

"Yeah, you did kind of forget to mention it," Ainsley muttered.

"So, are we going to run or not?" asked Anlaf.

"Oh yes, of course," Eowyn said. "Ainsley, you and Theodred run first. Anlaf and I can time you."

Ainsley saluted. "Yes ma'am!"

Eowyn raised one eyebrow but said nothing.

"Well, shall we?" asked Theodred.

Ainsley dropped a very wobbly courtesy. "It would be a pleasure."

Without further ado, Theodred grabbed Ainsley's hand and they took off.

"Ha! Prince or no prince, I bet I can run faster than you!" Ainsley yelled, pulling Theodred along behind her.

"No fair! You have the advantage!" Theodred yelped, tripping over a lamb and barely avoiding falling flat on his face.

"What advantage? I'm wearing a dress!"

"Yes, but you're unshod," panted the prince, "And my boots keep getting caught in the muddy parts!"

"Well, that makes us about even!"

They reached the end of the field and started back up again.

Theodred put on a burst of speed. Ainsley gritted her teeth and attempted to catch up with him, but ended up being pulled along.

They stopped just before they reached the fence. Rather, Theodred stopped, and Ainsley kept going. Luckily for her, Theodred yanked her back.

"Seventy one," said Eowyn.

"Sixty eight," said Anlaf.

"Not bad," commented Ainsley. "Your turn." She leaned against the fence and took a deep breath. "Actually, I suppose we should take a little break."

Once Ainsley had calmed down a bit, Eowyn and Anlaf started off. They finished at sixty-six seconds, as Eowyn was quite fit and Anlaf had pent up energy throughout the day.

* * *

Eomer sighed and took a swig of ginger-water. He was glad to be rid of Ainsley, and was celebrating by eating with his friends.

"Hey, Beornhelm, what do you think they're doing?" asked Aldwulf

"Maybe exercising the sheep?"

Eomer turned to look out the window where they were pointing, and his eyes widened. An all-too-familiar form was running in the sheep fields again, with that little serving boy- Anlaf- and behind them were his sister and his cousin.

Eomer swore and stared at his mug.


	8. Harmless fluff & harmful fluffy things

**A/N**: This chapter is entitled "Some Harmless Fluff and Not so Harmless Fluffy Animals".  
Wow, this story is really fun to write on. And no, Theodred doesn't like her in that way. He's about... -counts on fingers- fifteen years older then her. Anyhow, they just met. That day. A few hours previous.  
**Disclaimer  
Elven Bunny**: We don't own the Lord of the Rings, sadly enough. But when it goes on sale I have dibs on Gil-galad! **  
Butterfly Lion**: In that case, I'm getting dibs on Finrod.

_Chapter eight_

"So, Anlaf, why do you like Eowyn so much? Do you have a crush on her or something?"

Anlaf stopped short and almost fell down. "No," he said as he started running again, "of course not. She's just really cool!"

Ainsley grinned and jumped over a frisky lamb. "I know what you mean. I wish I could do sword-fighting!"

"Why don't you learn?" asked Anlaf

"Too uncoordinated," Ainsley sighed. "I've been trying, but I totally stink at it."

Eowyn and Theodred were catching up to them.

"They're catching up! Come on!" urged Anlaf. Ainsley strained her legs and sped up slightly. She was surprised at how fast Anlaf was- after all, he was only nine!

* * *

Eomer stared at his mug, then stared back out the window. "They're racing," he said flatly. "The demon-girl and Anlaf are racing Eowyn and Theodred."

"Who do you think'll win?" Beornhelm asked Aldwulf.

"I'm betting that girl and Anlaf," Aldwulf replied.

"I think Theodred and Eowyn will win."

"I'll keep you to that. I'll bet you a slice of hot peach pie."

"Done!"

Eomer sighed and ignored them. What did Eowyn see in that girl anyway? He supposed she was just being nice.

But _sheep_ jumping?

* * *

They were nearing the end of the race. Theodred and Eowyn had the lead by about two sheeps-length. A.k.a. seven feet or so.

Ainsley and Anlaf were coming up on a huge mud-stained ewe. Anlaf let go of Ainsley's hand and wriggled under the sheep while Ainsley leap-frogged over it. She almost landed on his head.

"Be careful!" protested Anlaf.

"Oops," said Ainsley sheep...ish...ly...

They came up to another ewe. It wasn't near as large as the other, so she figured Anlaf could jump over it.

He didn't agree.

Ainsley soared into the air just as Anlaf wriggled under it. They were still holding hands, however, and the result was rather painful.

Ainsley landed on her stomach, over the ewe's back. Anlaf was yanked up into the sheep's stomach.

The ewe was not happy.

She leaned back and tried to bite Ainsley, and when that didn't work, she let out a bellowing "Maamaamaa" and shook Ainsley off into a mud puddle.

By this time Eowyn and Theodred had finished. They wandered over to Ainsley and Anlaf.

"That's the second dress you've ruined today," commented Theodred as he helped Ainsley up. "And by the way- you lost."

"I know," Ainsley grumbled.

Eowyn was too helpless with laughter to do anything.

* * *

Eomer pumped his fist in the air. "Yes! Good sheep! Remind me to go hug that sheep tomorrow!"

His friends stared at him. Beornhelm broke the silence. "So, Aldwulf, where's my peach pie?"

Aldwulf sighed and stood up.

* * *

"Eowyn," Ainsley moaned as she walked shakily to the fence, "I am tired, worn-out, and muddy. Would you pretty-please draw me a map so I can go to your room and lie down on the floor?"

Eowyn stifled her laughter and patted Ainsley on the head. "Of course, of course."

Anlaf nimbly hopped up on the fence Ainsley was leaning on. "You're really that tired?"

"It's been a long day," she replied. "Boy, is that cliche."

"Cliche?" asked Theodred as he gallantly helped Ainsley onto the fence.

"Overused, I suppose."

"Oh, I see. Yes, I tend to use the same phrase too many times-as Eowyn has told me many a time."

"He was always, _always_ telling me how happy he was we were his cousins," Eowyn complained. "When I was nine years old I found it quite annoying."

"I dunno," mused Ainsley. "I think if a little boy said that to me I would be glad-why are you staring at me like that?"

"Um...little boy?" asked Eowyn.

"I was twenty-four," explained Theodred.

Ainsley fell backwards off the fence. "But I thought you were twenty-four _now_!"

"Thank you- I think," the prince laughed.

"Wow, I'm learning new things about you every day- no wait, it's all been one day. Ugh, I'm confused," Ainsley muttered.

She pulled herself upright and climbed back onto the fence.

"So you're _fifteen_ years older than me?" she asked Theodred incredulously.

"Um...that depends on how old you are."

"Oh, right. I'm eighteen."

"Why are you so upset, Ainsley?" Eowyn teased. "Did you plan to marry him or something?"

She nimbly jumped back as Ainsley swiped at her.

Ainsley fell off the fence again, landing on her face this time. "No," she spluttered, wiping grass from her mouth. "I just met him today! It took me by surprise, that's all."

"Anyhow, about that map," Eowyn said. "I'll go see if I can borrow some paper from someone. You can wait here."

"All right," muttered Ainsley, still lying on the ground. "I'll just lie here on the ground and look at the clouds."

"I don't think you'll be able to do that," Anlaf called, trotting after Eowyn. "There's a big ram coming towards you."

Ainsley scrambled up quickly and attempted to climb the fence. "Ugh," she grumbled, getting her leg stuck. "I'm acting like some sort of helpless female."

"At the moment," said Theodred, pulling her over the fence, "You _are_ some sort of helpless female."

"Gee, thanks a lot," she said sarcastically.

"You're welcome," he smiled.

"I was being sarcastic," Ainsley muttered. She leaned back against the fence and closed her eyes, not even twitching when the big ram tried to attack her through it.

Theodred started pulling up grass.

"What are you doing?" Ainsley asked, opening one eye.

"I'm making you a pillow," the prince explained.

"All right then." She closed her eye again.

* * *

Eomer set his mug of beer down on the table and stood up. Leaning out the window, he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, "No, Theodred! Don't do it! Don't be nice to her!"

His friends collapsed in laughter.

Eomer grimaced. Theodred didn't appear to be listening.


End file.
